Faulty Zip
A true story
Customer Service
To: Harriet
Re: Faulty Zip
Hi Harriet,
I’m so sorry but the replacement order has been sent to the following address:
Harriet Richardson
Harriet’s Old Road
London
United Kingdom
Are you able to pick it up? It looks close to your new address. Let us know.
Thanks,
Niihai Customer Service
Harriet Richardson
To: Customer Service
Re: Faulty Zip
Thank you for your response! The issue is, this is my ex boyfriend’s house and we’re currently no contact. But I’m going to take this as a sign from the universe, I’ll let you know how it goes.
Best,
Harriet
Customer Service
To: Harriet
Re: Faulty Zip
Hi Harriet,
We attempted to change the address but the warehouse has already dispatched your order. I hope you are safe to go and meet him. If not, I will send a replacement to your new address. Your safety is our top priority.
Best,
Niihai Customer Service
Harriet Richardson
To: Customer Service
Re: Faulty Zip
Hello,
Thanks for your message. He’s safe.
It’s not my safety I’m worried about, not for a moment. I’m worried I’ll see him and the last four and a half months of no contact will melt away like the old tenant’s hair in the drain of my new flat, when I used One Shot. It’s incredible that stuff.
I’m worried on him answering the door, that his face will look more like my future than my past. I’m worried he’ll invite me into chat, to catch up, and I’ll notice a new candle, or pair of shoes, or a single long hair strewn on the sofa we bought together.
And I’ll think of her, I’ll wonder her name as we share how successful and constructive that planned time apart was for us both. Competing over who’s healed more as I notice the lines around his mouth have deepened ever so slightly. He has two more grey hairs in his beard, and I don’t know either of them. Do they have names? Did candle girl make them up? She certainly has an affinity for marking territory with hair.
I realise it’s not my territory anymore. The house where we fell in love isn’t home. He hands me the package and asks what it is. I think about lying and say it’s shammy leather for the car I got a few months ago; but remember I don’t lie anymore. He’d know immediately anyway, that I still can’t drive. I say it’s a top, the one I wear when I do live shows. I needed a replacement because the zip broke and they sent it to the original address. “Ahh yes, the live shows”. His tone alone reminds us both that my venture into a new life marked the end of the one we shared together. I clutch the package and feel small and stupid that I fucked everything up. I wonder how faulty zips occur.
I’m worried that when I get home that evening, I’ll slump in the unblocked shower and contemplate posting this. An extension of my new confessional work. But he never wanted to be part of my work, he wanted to be a part of my life. What I didn’t know four and a half months ago, but I know now, is that those are no longer different things. What an undertaking for anyone, ey?
Don’t worry about the top.
Thanks for your help,
Harriet
Customer Service
To: Harriet
Hi Harriet,
You will receive a replacement order to your new address in the next 3 working days.
Best,
Niihai Customer Service
Harriet x










ugh the form just delicious; you're such a talent
👌🏻